Capita Percy Thomas

Another entry from a secret location somewhere near the Cotswolds. Percy the builder - can he fix it. No.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Starring none other than the world's best cockney impersonator himself, Mr Dick Van Dyke.

Hollywood stars flee their Malibu beach homes

Ah bless! Get the butler to put it out......

Monica Dickens

Dickens World near Great Dixter

A couple of smashing nearly cocks found in the Dartford / Thurrock service area pamphlet stand, after a particularly unpleasant 2 hour wait to get through the crossing. It cheered me up no end to come across something childish to make me snicker.

Mr Dickensen

Another secret location never to be revealed even under torture. But near Oxford!

Massey Wilcox

A return visit for the nearly cocklike haulier.

Barbara Dickson

What a perm! Sadly out of work since the Two Ronnies stopped employing her. No chance of that income stream coming back since Ronnie Barker carked it either!

Cocaine

Tim's being reading the literature handed out at the local primary school again. Stretching the boundaries of nearly cock-ness with this one.

Dickinson Philips

Another classic nearly capture from Tim

Woodpecker Cider

For the most discriminating tramps - a few pennies more pricey than White Lightning and containing hardly any pure ethanol.

Bulls pizzle

Do you want the last bulls' cock dear? No thanks love, I didn't really want the first one.......

Ian B, the new shining star in the cocking firmament coming up with another beauty from his local pet shop in Huddersfield. Truly revolting.

Dixons Estate Agents in Birmingham

Frederic Cox - Brummie hairdresser

Halloween Willies!

A fine idea for a night out in Birmingham on Halloween. He's just pulled a trick and she's looks like she's enjoying a treat.

Designed by Dick Bird

Captured by Tim in Dublin

Dixon International Ireland

Every crisis provides an opportunity for some nearly cocking. I was caught in today's jam on the south side of the M25, happily waiting to be freed despite being already late for a job interview - when along came this wonderful example of celtic nearly cockness. I offered to show it to the interview panel - they didn't seem to find it at all funny!